Fuck You Viktor Ahn

Dutch speed skater Sjinkie Knegt salutes Viktor Ahn on his victory

Sjinkie was disqualified for his show of emotions.

So cold and lonely

He will be forever spinning on the baggage claim of life

sidenote: I wish they got an entire loop of it going all the way around so other long sad songs could be dubbed over it.
maybe a trip to the airport is in order.

eX-Men – You’re Fired

Pete Holmes has had a lot of fun firing various Marvel X-Men this year.
I love them, maybe a little too much.

Jubilee:

Fucking Angel lolololol

flapping your wings as hard as you can to lift your stupid abs in the air

Gambit kind of missed the spot.

Wolverine

Hey Wolverine, do you want to see my claws?

This is Halloween –

I’ve watched this more times than I’d care to admit:

Death comes for us all. We are all equal in the grave:

The War of the Worlds by Jeff Wayne is amazing

Where the Wild Roses Grow is beautiful and morbid

Nick Cave is a treasure trove of dark and scary songs and it’s tough to pick just one.
His version of Stagger Lee makes me feel a little uncomfortable, maybe you should listen to the enter Murder Ballads CD.

Vincent Price is about as Halloween as you can get.
Enjoy this reading of The Raven (the Christopher Walken version is worth listening to as well)

Who doesn’t enjoy the tale of Waldo Jefferson.

in through your stomach and out your mouth.

Harley Poe is @Generic in South Bend, IN this weekend – if I lived there I would go

The End Is Near

“Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha, come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand,” Bachmann said. “When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this: that these days would be as the days of Noah.”

Please for the love of god

Bill is a fucking jackass

So, Imagine that the company you work for held a poll, and asked everyone if they thought it would be a good idea to put a soda machine in the break room. The poll came back, and the majority of your colleagues said “Yes”, indicating that they would like a soda machine. Some said no, but the majority said yes. So, a week later, there’s a soda machine.

Now imagine that Bill in accounting voted against the soda machine. He has a strong hatred for caffeinated soft drinks, thinks they are bad for you, whatever. He campaigns throughout the office to get the machine removed. Well, management decides “OK, we’ll ask again” and again, the majority of people say “Yes, lets keep the soda machine.”

Bill continues to campaign, and management continues to ask the employees, and every time, the answer is in favor of the soda machine. This happens, lets say 35 times. Eventually, Bill says “OK, I’M NOT PROCESSING PAYROLL ANYMORE UNTIL THE SODA MACHINE IS REMOVED”, so nobody will get paid unless management removes the machine.

What should we do???

Answer: Fire Bill and get someone who will do the fucking job.

Bonus: Bill tells everyone that he was willing to “Negotiate”, to come to a solution where everyone got their payroll checks, but only so long as that negotiation capitulated to his demand to remove the soda machine.

Bill is a fucking jackass.


All hail the mighty Koch

I believe this to be the original source:
http://themetricruler.tumblr.com/post/63100333081/so-imagine-that-the-company-you-work-for-held-a