Swallow Semen Now Or You’ll Live A Long Unhappy Life

Enough with the semen-cures-everything-that-ever-plagued-women articles.  Another study came out claiming that jizz is the cure for what ails females.  I am pro-blowjob, pro-swallowing, and pro-semen, but does is it really need to be the antidote for everything?happy sperm

Not only does semen help cure morning sickness, it now fights depression in women.  A survey (not an in depth experiment) was conducted and found that women who absorbed splooge, whether orally or through condom-less intercourse, were in better moods more often.  Yes, there are “mood altering chemicals” in semen, but perhaps these women were in more trusting relationships or had other factors in their lives that contributed to their lack of depression.  Also, did they ask any men or transgendered folks about their cum intake and their level of happiness?  Probably not.  After all, women are the only people that go around guzzling spunk.  Perhaps we can start using it as a non-dairy creamer or put it in our post workout protein shakes!  Then we can all go around collecting semen and saving it up for when we’re PMSing or feeling just a little too cranky.

If you like swallowing or getting good old fashioned baby-making cream pies, then go on and get them.  If you’re not so into them and some guy tries to tell you you’ll be less of a drag after you take his bleach-infused-nut-butter down the hatch, please roll over and finish yourself off with your favorite vibrator.  You’ll totally get to cum first.  Which will also put you in a better mood.

Just, fuck you.

Chick Fil A

Now that is the question

Fuck You Cancer

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Best way to remember is to enjoy their work.

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RIP MCA – You will be missed

Fuck You Karen Handel

Karen Handel

And you’re anti-abortion charged bullshit. You’re a disgrace to the female sex.

I hope your tits fall off.

Fuck you, Komen CEO Nancy Brinker for hiring a confederate flag waiving snake as your vice president.



Fucking Douchebag

Hunter Moore is a douchebag

Hunter Moore is a douchebag

I love when people take nude photos of themselves and share with everyone. I hate when some douchebag comes along and makes people afraid to do it.

Philadelphia Landmark Joe Vento Remembered

Those of us who live in Philadelphia have a tradition when people visit us from out of town. They want us to take them to get a ‘real Philly cheese steak.’ So we head down to just south of the Italian Market for the ‘real’ Philly cheese steak experience. Across the street from where we got that cheese steak was a little eatery called Geno’s.

Geno’s was put on the map by it’s owner, living Philadelphia legend Joey Vento, who died of a heart attack last night at 71. Seriously- just picture a south Philly restaurant owner named Joey Vento. That’s him. If you’re imagining a walking stereotype of the gold-chained south Philly grease ball, then I don’t even need to post a picture.

Joey Vento made national news with his “speak English,” campaign, which included posting a sign that required his customers to speak English when ordering. Not that he had any trouble with people walking up and ordering food in a language he didn’t speak, but… well, it was just so you know where he stood.

With his blunt nationalist political statements, Vento was soon a popular figure among Tea Baggers. Indeed, as a xenophobic business owner who was himself descended from immigrants, Joey Vento fit perfectly into the misinformed shouting that exemplifies the Tea Baggers.

Presumably someone somewhere will miss this fixture of south Philadelphian cultural heritage. The Liberty Bell and Independence Hall may remain, but today Philadelphia has lost another ancient relic of its past.