New Contributor. No Name.

Anon’s newest contributor won’t tell us her name, but she has a few things she wants to say.

Sometimes I just want you to shut the fuck up.

All of you. I don’t give a fuck about any of your meaningless problems.

You talk about the same bullshit all of the time. You’re the only person that gives a shit. You’re lame. You suck at life. Go crawl in a hole. Please. Before the sound of your whining voice makes me have to break something. I’d rather not destroy my precious material shit. It’s more important to me than your bullshit complaints. But, if I have to listen to any more of your vocal vomit I’ll have no choice but to destroy something. Preferably something made from glass. Something that will make a lot of noise and explode into a million little pieces. Scratch that. Make it your fucking face.

While we’re at it, person that is walking and texting, wake the fuck up you selfish prick. You’re in my way. I’m running because I give a fuck about my health and well- motherfucking-being. Move before I pummel you and fuck up your text message that doesn’t even mean anything to the person you’re sending it to. Have some common fucking courtesy and step to the side. I doubt anyone is in a hurry to see your dumbass any way. In fact, turn around and go the fuck home. Stay there and fuck yourself. At least it’s semi-productive.

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Dude at the coffee shop micromanaging the barista, fuck you. You’re not important. They get how to pour your shitty cup of coffee. Don’t make small talk. The person behind the counter doesn’t give 2 shits about your weekend with the kids or your golf course outing. Neither do the people in line behind you. Fuck your kids, too. While we’re on the subject… Dick bag behind the counter – if you’re annoyed at having to serve me some coffee, get off your lazy ass and get a new job. Oh right, that would require you to use your fucking brain and perhaps some social skills. I’d hate for you to have to crack a smile or, fuck, brush your hair. Shut the fuck up, jerk off.

Hey, people on Facebook. I don’t give a shit about what you had for lunch. I don’t want to see pictures of your stupid kids at the last family barbecue. Fuck which color you dye your hair next. You’re fucking fat and ugly either way. I know, pick whichever one melts the flesh off you face! I don’t’ give a god damn where you check in. Are you hoping that someone will give a shit and meet you there? Too bad, anyone who was going to go there is now changing their plans so they don’t have to listen to you talk about your meaningless existence as if who you recently fucked or how drunk or coked up you got last Tuesday means anything to anyone you fucking loser. Grow the fuck up. Getting wasted is fun every now and then, especially when I’m listening to the horrid sound of you gnawing off my ear, but getting knee deep into an 8 ball and downing a bottle of Jack Daniels is about as classy as a hooker giving a blow job next to a day care dumpster. Shut the fuck UP. Your social life is only important to you. Fuck me for looking at fucking Facebook.

I’d slit my fucking wrist, except for the fact that you’re not worth the scar it would leave on my rotting corpse. Instead, how about you shut the fuck up? Or go talk to yourself in front of a mirror. Maybe then you’ll see and hear how irritating you really are to the rest of us. I’d suggest therapy, but I’m afraid your shrink would feel propelled to slam their head with the door repeatedly. Not until their dead, but until they’re just brain dead enough to not have to think or hear anymore. A life in a vegetative state might be better than having to listen to anything you ever have to say ever again.

Hey man that is twenty years older than me. Hey dude that works for waste management. Hey man in a suit and tie. Fuck you all. What the fuck makes you think I’d ever look at you or give a fuck about what you have to say to me, let alone want to fuck you. The thought of your cock makes me want to drown in own my vomit. I’d rather fuck myself with a chain saw. You’re disgusting. Go home to your fat wife and asshole kids. Wait, don’t. They don’t like your stupid ass either.

Yeah, when I said all of you, I meant it. Shut the fuck up and go fuck yourselves.